So what happens when you don't have it? You stall out - or at least I have.
Thankfully I haven't gained, but I am not losing either. Hannah will be 9 months old on Monday and that means I have barely three months to attain my initial goal. I wanted to be back to pre-baby weight by her 1st birthday. I will still have plenty of losing to do after that, but I desperately want to get rid of those 20lbs I gained while I was pregnant and in the first months after she was born.
So even though I have a goal in mind, I am struggling with finding the motivation to succeed! I began pondering what is holding me back the other day and I think I have at least a partial answer.
If I don't truly commit, I can't truly fail. The truth is I have been over weight for most of my life. I think when you have been previously fit, you have a visual goal in mind of what you are zstriving to achieve. You remember what it felt like to be fit, what it looked like to be fit, and possibly what it took to maintain.
Although I was not "fat" in high school, I was definitely not fit, and that lifestyle continued into college and beyond. I have never been "average" sized, have always struggled to find clothes that fit comfortably, and cannot remember ever loving the way I looked (with the exception of my wedding day!).
Thus, I believe my problem is a visual one. I cannot visualize the end result and thus I am not inspired to work towards it! So the next issue is I'm not sure what to do with this knowledge. I don't know how to reframe my thinking, but maybe knowing my hang up will help.
Here's to finding new motivation...
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Back in the Game
My friend Carrie said it best in her blog - I have notoriously battled an "all or nothing" mentality. It seems like I start out focused and determined, and the minute I misstep I throw it all out the window. If I skip logging a meal, I skip the rest of the day. If I miss one work out, I skip a weeks worth of work outs. Truthfully I know I am only hurting myself, but I struggle with remaining focused.
During Lent I tried to remain dedicated to a Lenten devotion of skipping out on two of my biggest weaknesses: chocolate and soda. The reason I chose these two things to give up was because they have often been the cause of me giving up on myself and my focus for weight loss. This year, however, it COMPLETELY back fired! I did a decent job refraining from my two biggest temptations, but instead I over-indulged on other junk and ended up gaining 2lbs! It was so frustrating and it made it hard to reamin focused on my continued weight loss.
Then I went on vacation to Texas for 9 days! It was amazing to see my family and I had a FABULOUS time, but I did not eat healthy while I was gone. One caveat is that I at least went to the gym several days with my mom and sister. Truthfully, what that reinforced for me was my need to find a work out buddy. It is not possible for Greg and I to hit the gym at the same time, so now Im stuck wondering how else to develop that partnership. This is something I will have to ponder.
Not I am back home, and although I am still holding on to that extra 2lbs, I am working on reframing my though process on this whole journey. This is not going to be an over night fix. I did not gain weight in a matter of weeks, and I am certainly not going to lose it in a matter of weeks.
Working out felt great while I was on vacation so Im hoping that I can carry that motivation back with me here in Nebraska. One day at a time, right?
During Lent I tried to remain dedicated to a Lenten devotion of skipping out on two of my biggest weaknesses: chocolate and soda. The reason I chose these two things to give up was because they have often been the cause of me giving up on myself and my focus for weight loss. This year, however, it COMPLETELY back fired! I did a decent job refraining from my two biggest temptations, but instead I over-indulged on other junk and ended up gaining 2lbs! It was so frustrating and it made it hard to reamin focused on my continued weight loss.
Then I went on vacation to Texas for 9 days! It was amazing to see my family and I had a FABULOUS time, but I did not eat healthy while I was gone. One caveat is that I at least went to the gym several days with my mom and sister. Truthfully, what that reinforced for me was my need to find a work out buddy. It is not possible for Greg and I to hit the gym at the same time, so now Im stuck wondering how else to develop that partnership. This is something I will have to ponder.
Not I am back home, and although I am still holding on to that extra 2lbs, I am working on reframing my though process on this whole journey. This is not going to be an over night fix. I did not gain weight in a matter of weeks, and I am certainly not going to lose it in a matter of weeks.
Working out felt great while I was on vacation so Im hoping that I can carry that motivation back with me here in Nebraska. One day at a time, right?
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Day by Day
Although I haven't updated in 2 weeks, I have in fact been hard at work! Using a free internet site, http://www.myfitnesspal.com/ I have been logging my calories (intake and burn). There have definitely been good days and bad days.
On Saturday I had a bit of an emotional melt down. Cried a little over my lack of progress, and then felt like a drama queen when I stood on the scale and realized the number had gone down. My husband is so patient and understanding and has done everything in his power to support my efforts while continually reminding me of my beauty in his eyes. His patience and support will help me reach my goal some day and I appreciate everything he does to encourage me.
Most recently I have begun seeing a Chiropractor again only to learn I have developed scoliosis. The curves in my spine are completely out of whack - pelvis shifted to the right, lower lumbar litterally twisting, mid-back curve straightened, and neck curve the exact opposite of the direction it should curve. I will be seeing my Chiropractor every week for the next couple months until I can begin maint. appointments. I know that finally getting my back the help it needs will greatly improve my overall wellness as well as strengthening my core muscles and increasing my ability to exercise with less pain.
Important updates, but also important are the actual numbers so here they are:
Weight 219
Neck 14"
Chest 43"
Arms 17.5"
Waist 43"
Hips 47"
Thighs 28.5"
Calves 16.75"
So I've lost only two pounds but I also lost almost 2 inches from my hips and my calves are shrinking which have ALWAYS been a trouble area. My arms are one of the things I dislike the most so I am hoping to see progress there soon.
As always, every pound and inch takes a ton of work to get off but since I didn't gain weight over night I know I won't lose it over night. I hope all of us remember that and continue to stay focused on one day at a time!
On a side note, I have decided to accept the "challenge" of a friend and will be getting back into running. Several former classmates are following the Counch to 5K program but I have already started to train for a 10K. I am hoping to run along side Greg in Oct, but even if it takes longer I am committed to running a race this year!
On Saturday I had a bit of an emotional melt down. Cried a little over my lack of progress, and then felt like a drama queen when I stood on the scale and realized the number had gone down. My husband is so patient and understanding and has done everything in his power to support my efforts while continually reminding me of my beauty in his eyes. His patience and support will help me reach my goal some day and I appreciate everything he does to encourage me.
Most recently I have begun seeing a Chiropractor again only to learn I have developed scoliosis. The curves in my spine are completely out of whack - pelvis shifted to the right, lower lumbar litterally twisting, mid-back curve straightened, and neck curve the exact opposite of the direction it should curve. I will be seeing my Chiropractor every week for the next couple months until I can begin maint. appointments. I know that finally getting my back the help it needs will greatly improve my overall wellness as well as strengthening my core muscles and increasing my ability to exercise with less pain.
Important updates, but also important are the actual numbers so here they are:
Weight 219
Neck 14"
Chest 43"
Arms 17.5"
Waist 43"
Hips 47"
Thighs 28.5"
Calves 16.75"
So I've lost only two pounds but I also lost almost 2 inches from my hips and my calves are shrinking which have ALWAYS been a trouble area. My arms are one of the things I dislike the most so I am hoping to see progress there soon.
As always, every pound and inch takes a ton of work to get off but since I didn't gain weight over night I know I won't lose it over night. I hope all of us remember that and continue to stay focused on one day at a time!
On a side note, I have decided to accept the "challenge" of a friend and will be getting back into running. Several former classmates are following the Counch to 5K program but I have already started to train for a 10K. I am hoping to run along side Greg in Oct, but even if it takes longer I am committed to running a race this year!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Cousin's Week
There is nothing better than seeing your nieces and nephews when it comes to your spirit, and probably nothing worse when it comes to diet and exercise!
I have been having a blast this week with Ciera, Jena, Zach, Gavin and Zoe and although we have been out and about having fun, my routine has been thrown off. Definitely not complaining though! Monday we wandered a local aquarium and the Holy Family Shrine in Gretna, NE. Then on Tuesday we visited the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha. The kids had a great time and Hannah was mostly able to hang without having too many fits. She's actually a wonderfully well behaved baby, but napping in a stroller is not very restful!
Although we have not been completely inactive, we have killed any calories I've burned by the meals we have eaten!
Needless to say, I don't have much to report in the way of success at the moment, at least not when it comes to numbers. I did, however, give up soda and chocolate for Lent with positive results so far. I'm happy to report that although I am having some chocolate cravings and the occasional tempting voice, I am able to ignore them! I am also happy to report that my energy levels feel up and my snacking has been cut waaaay back!
I realize the path to healthiness is wrought with interruptions also known as life, so I take this in stride and celebrate life's little interruptions!
I have been having a blast this week with Ciera, Jena, Zach, Gavin and Zoe and although we have been out and about having fun, my routine has been thrown off. Definitely not complaining though! Monday we wandered a local aquarium and the Holy Family Shrine in Gretna, NE. Then on Tuesday we visited the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha. The kids had a great time and Hannah was mostly able to hang without having too many fits. She's actually a wonderfully well behaved baby, but napping in a stroller is not very restful!
Although we have not been completely inactive, we have killed any calories I've burned by the meals we have eaten!
Needless to say, I don't have much to report in the way of success at the moment, at least not when it comes to numbers. I did, however, give up soda and chocolate for Lent with positive results so far. I'm happy to report that although I am having some chocolate cravings and the occasional tempting voice, I am able to ignore them! I am also happy to report that my energy levels feel up and my snacking has been cut waaaay back!
I realize the path to healthiness is wrought with interruptions also known as life, so I take this in stride and celebrate life's little interruptions!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
The real reason I'm overweight...
Okay so the truth comes out! It really is less about the foods I eat and more about my lack of commitment/too much going on! I had every intention of logging all this information last Friday, but alas the weekend and then week got away from me. So here I am, lunch break on Ash Wednesday, getting ready to reveal my dirty lil secrets (also known as the facts and figures).
Perhaps in my subconscious I wanted to wait and do this on Ash Wednesday for a reason. I'm not big on giving things up for Lent (although this year I'm saying bon voyage to soda and chocolate), but I do think Lent is the perfect time to work on myself from the inside out. So this season I am committing to healthier eating and more exercise, but rooted in the hunt for why I am overweight in the first place. I know I'm an emotional eater, but also a bored eater. Somewhere deep inside is hidden the answer to why I think food can make me happy, and I know if I search it out the results I have this time around will stand a much better chance of being permanent.
So here they are, the dirty details!
Weight - 221 pounds
Neck - 14"
Chest - 43.5"
Arms - 17.5"
Waist - 43"
Hips - 49.5"
Thighs - 28.5"
Calves - 17.5"
That will be the last time you see these numbers so high. It may take a year or more but my goal is to be maintaining 145 pounds by my 30th birthday. Wish me luck! I could all the support possible!
Perhaps in my subconscious I wanted to wait and do this on Ash Wednesday for a reason. I'm not big on giving things up for Lent (although this year I'm saying bon voyage to soda and chocolate), but I do think Lent is the perfect time to work on myself from the inside out. So this season I am committing to healthier eating and more exercise, but rooted in the hunt for why I am overweight in the first place. I know I'm an emotional eater, but also a bored eater. Somewhere deep inside is hidden the answer to why I think food can make me happy, and I know if I search it out the results I have this time around will stand a much better chance of being permanent.
So here they are, the dirty details!
Weight - 221 pounds
Neck - 14"
Chest - 43.5"
Arms - 17.5"
Waist - 43"
Hips - 49.5"
Thighs - 28.5"
Calves - 17.5"
That will be the last time you see these numbers so high. It may take a year or more but my goal is to be maintaining 145 pounds by my 30th birthday. Wish me luck! I could all the support possible!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Some Things Never Change
In 2009 I busted my butt to lose 25 lbs, got married, moved to Nebraska, and began my first call. In January of 2010 my weight loss stalled and I realized I was pregnant. I worked hard through my pregnancy not to over gain but in the final trimester I put on a ton of water weight. The great part of that was how quickly it disappeared! 2 weeks after Hannah was born I was down to only 10 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. Unfortunately stress and unhealthy eating habits have gotten the best of me and I am now right back where I started in 2009 after graduating Seminary.
Looking at the baptism pictures from this past weekend I was angry with myself for falling back into bad habits at the first opportunity. I want to be a fit and healthy mom for Hannah! I want to set a positive example for her and for my congregation! I want to keep up with my husband who has become a runner!
Starting today I am making some changes in my life to help me become all those things. Knowing that I struggle with dedication I am writing this blog for two reasons: 1.) to have a place to record my goals, struggles, and successes and 2.) to have accountability. If I publish these thoughts for others to read then I have to follow through with them!
So tomorrow I weigh-in and take measurements and I will post them online for all to see. I hope this proves to be he motivation I need to stay committed, and perhaps it will motivate some of you too!
Looking at the baptism pictures from this past weekend I was angry with myself for falling back into bad habits at the first opportunity. I want to be a fit and healthy mom for Hannah! I want to set a positive example for her and for my congregation! I want to keep up with my husband who has become a runner!
Starting today I am making some changes in my life to help me become all those things. Knowing that I struggle with dedication I am writing this blog for two reasons: 1.) to have a place to record my goals, struggles, and successes and 2.) to have accountability. If I publish these thoughts for others to read then I have to follow through with them!
So tomorrow I weigh-in and take measurements and I will post them online for all to see. I hope this proves to be he motivation I need to stay committed, and perhaps it will motivate some of you too!
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